Arewa-online

Being A Nigerian, Understanding Nigeria...Who Wants To Be A Nigerian

Prince Charles Dickson

Jos, Plateau Nigeria

Sept 1, 2006

On an average Nigeria is good, her people are a bunch of good Bananas, only that a few rotten, gives the whole bunch a bad look and that particular rotten smell. Nigeria, ideally is one of the best places to live in, it is not a Police State like so-called Western Democracies...In Nigeria you can urinate anywhere and not get fined or arrested, you can get a ladder and climb the Power poles and effect a change of power phases, that is if the problem is not from the nearby power transformer which anybody can repair with dry wood.

In Nigeria you can set traps inside your compound and catch birds and roast them to taste and not be afraid that you are at Piccadilly Square in UK and some stern looking cops will harass you for animal rights violation.

I am writing this essay about my beloved nation because lately I have discovered that I have tried hard to write nice stuffs about my nation but each time I try the truth hits me and I never end up, I criticize a lot and hardly give solutions...my reason, simple...there are enough solutions to Nigeria's multi-dimensional problems, enough to fill an American Congressional Library, well prepared by committees, panels, commissions and bodies of expert. Name the field or area and I will refer you to a paper, a report that should ordinarily have solved that problem long time ago.

For avoidance of doubt, what happened to the Vision 2010, nothing except that we now have a vision 2056 for constant power electricity. I remember one committee like that with a long name that was supposed to provide palliative measures due to the rise in petroleum prices, till date it died a natural death. There have been reports upon reports that if properly handled would have made Nigerian number one in most things if not everything, because if despite all the ills of our society we are the most happiest and religious in the world...I wonder I just wonder.

Understanding Nigeria, the land of delinquents, both the ruled and the rulers, a very special breed of delinquents, we have them from all social classes, the politicians, students, youths, and parents that aid and abet exam malpractice, we have them everywhere and the common thread is a high level of irresponsibility, recklessness and total disregard for the norms of society, that is why we are being educated on the ethics of proper handling of the Naira note, in that wonderful public enlightenment advert I smile as the note complains of the abuse he or is the note a she, has been subjected to.

Isn’t it intriguing and excitingly Nigeria that elected State Assemblymen would hide in a Federal Court building to evade arrest, while on the other hand men of the EFCC would wait on them till past 1.00 am in the morning to catch them. This is Nigeria, the rich, poor, and everybody cries and laughs almost at the same time; the difference is the swing of the pendulum.

Being a Nigerian requires a tricky trait, despite the Woles, Achebes, Anyaokwus, Maitamas, Balewas, Ziks, Awos, Sardaunas, and many too numerous to call, there is a distinction to being a Nigerian and wanting to be a Nigerian. The Nigerian big man makes a law, those wanting to be Nigerian or already big men proceeds immediately to look for a way to break the law, he explores loopholes and escape clauses, like the Immunity clause used for stealing. Ordinary Citizens would do it their own way, they will jump queues on no excuse, they will do a u-turns on an expressway, stop in the middle of the road to say hello to a long lost friend without parking...correct them, and they will abuse your dog.

In places after the goods have landed and effectively sold not minding whether the goods in question were expired or adulterated drugs or the goods were State subvention meant for hospitals and schools, roads and farming implements, the Nigerian will close two, three streets to celebrate the great grand father he never knew or the father that cursed him before he died. Who wants to be a Nigerian, it takes a lot, you have to be noisy, music is not danceable if it is not loud, big is sweet and good, so the Japanese supply us with boom boxes as big as my village masquerade just for a radio cassette player, a Nigerian buys a 10,20,30 loader CD and he lives in a one room in Ajegunle.

One of our wonder working Governors and businessman extra-ordinaire Orji Kalu wants to be President yet Aba competes favorably well with Lagos in dirt, while Jos is a distant fourth and mind you it is not wrong, it is simply Nigerian, nothing extra-ordinary about that. We are confused people, who thrive most when under pressure, we work 18 hours and sleep one, have dreams for the remaining hours of heaven and wake up to the reality of our commotion filled existence and what do we earn for the 18 is barely a living wage, that is why someone works in Ibadan and lives in Lagos, another in Port Harcourt and lives in Owerri or Aba.

Go and ask Ngozi Iweala...I do not like her (smiles), off course because I think her whole reforms were geared towards the benefit of them and them only, but she soon discovered that World Bank was different from Ministry of Finance and that Obasanjo adjusting her head gear was just a fling of the moment. Understanding Nigeria, you just can fit understand, that is why we never will know why the poor woman ran when the ovation was never loud. She did not want to be a Nigerian so she resigned, at least better than to be sacked, in Naija, you collect appointment letter and signed undated sack or resignation letter depending on your clout.

How can one understand the Nigerian and want to be one, when in power he loves affluence and will do anything to stay put. In religious matters, he will fake it; in business, his cheques will bounce. In the civil service forget the noise of servicom, your files will miss and only reappear at the right price. The Nigerian will court abomination by treating his elders by way of pensioners with the highest of disdain. A Nigerian will ban the importation of lace fabrics, yet his wives, concubines and mistresses will die the day they cannot wear one.

In Nigeria you need to understand how a complainant can suddenly become suspect and in the end witness yet still land in Jail for a crime that was committed against him. Nigeria, do you want to be one, it takes a lot of guts. At an occasion the new Geography Minister for Finance said inflation was dropping to single digits and that GDP was growing, yet pensioners are owed in the Nigeria Railways for 25 months, workers salaries are hijacked, cars are stolen daily, politicians are good enough killing themselves, business and residential places are robbed at a statistical rate unavailable to the Police.

The pain of this essay is that despite all the exhaustive bad traits that we battle everyday, Nigerians abound in their millions that want to be Nigerians for the right reasons. Those Nigerians are not easily understood because they will not give bribes, all their actions are in line with tradition, society's good norms and rationality. They largely are old now and most times reside in rural areas, although a few still stay in urban areas. They are generally good and untribalized, they believe in the principles of live and let live. These Nigerians are neither the bottom power women nor the moneybag men. They strive daily to remain patriotic and committed to the Nigerian dream despite the reality, they are disciplined and are hardworking, they battle the stark reality that as patient dogs they may never have any bone left.

These set of Nigerians suffer the Nigerian experiment because of the larger majority's inability to curb greed, inability for us to be fair and rational towards other people's perspectives, opinions, positions and interest, the present power shift nonsense and the derivation struggle. The continuous inability to make sacrifices for the common good, an unwillingness to respect our institutions...like the abuse of democracy through the third term madness, the suggestion of a Interim government, the abuse of our health and educational institutions in the name of na government property and so its nobody's own. Our monetized society too has been of more harm than good to us. Do you now understand Nigeria, are you a Nigerian, do you want to be a Nigerian... Almighty Allah You are a God of purpose...why did You create this nation?